As shadows of the darkness descend
The remains of what we all begin
Embark the journey to the end
Of time
Like waves upon the ocean wild
Sometimes meek and sometimes mild
Like the voice of a child
We search
As trees sway in the bitter cold
The young at heart are too so old
Under skies so brilliant blue
And sunrise of the palest hue
Just to murmur “I love you”
Once more
As darkness comes before the dawn
Unveiling here this weary pawn
Just as the first breath has been drawn
We die.
Posted in believer, blog, courage, death, death of a loved one, dreams, emotions, Encouragement, feelings, Life, love, Photography
Tagged beauty, blog, death, encouragement, faith, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, Gina Minton Kearns Photography, grace, jesus, life, love, mountains
a force to be reckoned with. As Hurricane Sandy makes her way up the East Coast, I find it both exhilarating and humbling to follow along. I have many friends, some in flesh and blood, and others on Facebook and Twitter that I follow along with. I wonder and think about their well-being and hope they will be well and safe, but at the same time, well, what can I say? I want to be in the midst of the waves and snow and wind and carnage. I want to wield my weatherproof Pentax and document the most awesome entity that is called Nature. It is in my blood, my heart and my soul and even though I have mixed feelings about it, it doesn’t change the desire.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment that I knew, beyond all rational thought, that I wanted to be a photographer, but it was somewhere in the middle of Mrs. Duncan’s third grade class. I was caught taking photographs of the classroom and of the teacher, and she took my camera away. As far as I know, if she is still living, she still has it. Documentation of life as it happens became a pure obsession, one my parents (as those long ago sought after piano lessons) thought would pass. But it didn’t pass. Instead, it became an inferno as opposed to a campfire.
As years passed and photography consumed me, it had to take a back seat to the reality of having to work to feed my family. A day job has, as far back as I can remember in my adult life, been the bane of my existence. I got married and then had a child. It wasn’t in my nature to quit once I had started something, so even though I loved my daughter and tried my best to make my husband happy, I could think of little else than leaving it all behind to pursue my dream.
But dreams are just that. Imaginings and hopes that may or may not come to fruition. The timing, at that particular moment, wasn’t right and I had responsibilities that kept me grounded. I have no regrets (well, maybe some regrets where the philandering, cheating, no-good husband was concerned), but as far as my daughter, absolutely no regrets. She was, is and will continue to be a driving force in my life. I had pretty much given up the hope of ever being a “real” photographer.
Fate and destiny has a way, though, of cutting through all the nonsense and paving a way where there didn’t seem to be one. God knows the most intimate secrets and desires of my heart. I began creating greeting cards a few years ago and have, to date, sold well over 20,000 cards. God has blessed me well beyond what I believed I was capable of. I have recently signed up to be a part of the Virginia Tourism team and excitement doesn’t even begin to cover what I feel.
Saying things out loud has always been a problem for me, but writing about or photographing and then writing about them is as natural as the breath in my lungs. I look forward to every new adventure, each new sunrise and everything in between. One has only to look at two sunrises or sunsets in succession to realize that they are completely different and have very different things to say. Many times, I have (much to my family’s chagrin and disapproval) made myself a human lightning rod in the midst of thunderstorms, but take not into account my safety. As I see it, if I die while photographing the wonder of nature, it has been a good death.
My blog posts come from my own brain and my own heart and my own point of view. While there are times that I am certain I step on the toes and belief systems of the people I love and cherish, I cannot stem what comes from my soul. To do so would be to deny that I, in any capacity, cease to exist and I have worked way to hard to overcome such ideals to let them hold me captive anymore.
Funnily enough, this post began as encouragement to those who are about to face an awesome display of nature and try to survive, but, has become more of an homage to those who follow along. I am honored. I am humbled. I am inspired. Life inspires me and that, in itself, is one of the most wonderful things I can imagine.
Posted in believer, blog, choices, christian, courage, dreams, emotions, Encouragement, facebook, faith, feelings, friends, from my heart, God, Greeting Cards, insecurity, Life, love, Photography, piano, Southwest Virginia, story, Time, travel, VA, worship
Tagged beauty, blog, creation, encouragement, faith, family, friends, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, Gina Minton Kearns Photography, God's creation, jesus, life, love, mountains, nature, Pentax, photographer, photography, spiritual encouragement, Through the Eyes of the Spirit
you are worthless. Worthless. How sad is it that, in a country where the poverty level is well above what it should be and people work as hard as they can but can’t feed their family are considered outcasts. The very lowest of the low, the sewer of humanity. These kinds of judgements can only come from those who have never found themselves in a place that leaves them with no choice but to depend on someone to help them. I do not even try to speak for everyone who has found themselves in the welfare system, only myself, and I find it to be very hurtful to know that instead of prayers for improvement, I found only shame and humiliation. There is nothing worse than being in the grocery line and having to present the cashier with food stamps. The look is always the same. A frowning look that says I am mooching off of everyone else who works for a living. Well, listen up, folks. I was working for a living, but was somehow unable to provide food for my daughter. I could have taken up a life of crime or prostitution, but it seemed to be more in line with my beliefs to call on help from others. I never once presented the food stamps at any store when the cashier didn’t find some reason to make it public that I was a loser, a freeloader and someone to be chastised to need help.
It shouldn’t be shameful to need help and it should not cause humiliation to ask for it. As with any other system in the world, there will be people who abuse it, but in the grand scheme of things, I like to think that folks are doing the best they can. Just because you haven’t found yourself out of work, widowed or devastated by an accident or injury does not give you the right to be judge an jury. Not all things fit into a single, four-sided box. It is not possible to know what one person experiences unless you take the time to ask, or better yet, walk a ways with them to see what they experience in a single day.
I see people every day who have to decide whether they will buy food or pay for medications that will keep them from dying. They have to choose whether to pay their electric bill and have heat or buy food for their family. It makes me angry to think that in a country as rich as the one we live in that here are many who will die themselves because they chose to spend their money on food for their children than to be ostracized for applying for food stamps. It makes me angry to know that people who call themselves “Christians” turn their back on people in need just because they decide to judge them by their own standards.
When Jesus spent time with the people, he didn’t spend it with the ones who could afford everything they needed. He spent it with the hurting, the desperate, the poor, the sick and the outcasts. It pleases me to know, that were I alive in Jesus’ time, He would have spent time with me.
Romans 14:22 ~ Have you faith? have it to yourself before God. Happy is he that condemns not himself in that thing which he allows.
Posted in believer, bible verse, blog, choices, christian, emotions, Encouragement, faith, feelings, from my heart, help, insecurity, Jesus, Life, Photography, poverty, story
Tagged blog, encouragement, faith, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, Gina Minton Kearns Photography, grace, help, jesus, life, love, need, poverty, spiritual encouragement
when you are trapped between that realm of normalcy and insanity? A tough question with no easy answer. After years of battling hours, days, even weeks of rapid cycling, I still have nothing to offer. When those times come about, it seems that we, as beings, cease to belong to the world around us. Everything is distorted and there is no orientation or order to any of it. It comes down to the ability to realize what is happening and take it, as much as possible, in stride, until it passes. I’m sure there are many people who have no idea what “rapid cycling” is and do not recognize it when people they know are going through it. To the “normal” person, it looks like acting out or even attention seeking behavior. Without knowledge of the situation, it would seem, and aptly so, that the person you know has become someone that you cannot comprehend. I suppose, without actually meaning to be, this post is as much for the people who cannot fathom a place of uncertainty, and downright dubiety than for those of us who know it more intimately than we would like.
Rapid cycling is a real and, most often, a permanent thing. I am blessed to only have this occur once or twice a year; not so in my youth as it would happen two or three times per month and could, in the worst of times, last a week or more. It is not uncommon for rapid cycling to last for months or even a year, but for the rest of us, the lucky ones, rapid cycling comes with little or no trigger and can last as little as four hours. The mood swings are awesome and completely, enigmatically exhausting. By the time it is over, I usually feel like I have been ran over by a very large, heavily loaded truck. My brain is foggy, my senses slow and my reflexes, at least for a short time, are nonexistent. In the grand scheme of things, it is not dissimilar to a seizure that lasts for hours. Right and wrong seem to meld seamlessly and, from previous experience, it is most important to try to maintain control during one of these episodes. After all these years, I have learned the warning signs and work very hard to isolate myself, as much as possible, until it has ran its course.
I know, without reservation, that there are others who feel the same way. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable to speak of such things, but one person’s experience can often mean the difference between making or breaking to someone who feels the devastating, overwhelming range of emotions that define who we are at a given time. Everyone experiences, at some point, sadness and joy, but this goes beyond that. It is joy that is so inexplicable that jubilant takes a back seat; sadness that threatens our very being and, in the midst, every conceivable emotion in between.
I subscribe to the supposition that most adults have, at this point, learned to recognize the warning signs and may even be able to pinpoint the triggers; for that reason, this post is not directed to you. It is directed to younger people who have thoughts and feelings that they cannot understand and find that, when trying to describe it, the people they love and trust do not understand. It is important to know that it is likely that they will never truly understand. They will accept you, humor you, try to get you, but unless they have experienced the phenomenon, they will not ever really and truly know what you speak of. BUT … that doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who do.
Look inside yourself, learn to know the warning signs and be aware of the consequences of rash and often, irrational choices. Even when you feel out of control, at the core, you are in control. The decisions and choices you make, the roads you take, the destinations you choose will all define who you are in the end. Just because you have moments of weakness doesn’t give you free reign to make poor choices. It is of inimitable importance that one understands the state they are in and realizes that the choices they would normally make are much, much more complicated during this time.
If I can do nothing else, I encourage everyone to learn about rapid cycling so that when faced with it, whether personally or through someone they know and love, they will understand that it isn’t something that can fixed by advice. It can’t be fixed by instruction or direction and it has no understanding of “buckling down”.
It just is. And, as quickly as it comes, it will end. Have faith that God will not let you destroy yourself and know, with certainty, that this too, shall pass. I tell you this from experience so that you, whoever you are, will know that you are not alone.
I believe in an Awesome God and know that the experiences and trials we face will help us help others. If I didn’t believe in God and the unshakable Spirit of Christ, then I would be certain that I was cursed. But I am not cursed, I am me and I will make the very best of it that I can. Be encouraged and then encourage others. Your life will be richer for it.
Posted in bipolar, blog, choices, depression, emotions, facebook, faith, feelings, friends, God, help, Life, manic depressive disorder, mental illness, Photography, rapid cycling, spiritual healing, travel
Tagged bipolar, blog, encouragement, faith, friends, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, Gina Minton Kearns Photography, God, grace, jesus, jesus christ, life, manic depressive disorder, normalcy, rapid cycling, sorrow, spiritual encouragement, understanding
Sometimes it seems that life is at a standstill
That everything I want the most is within my reach
But in my soul I know that if I touch it too soon, before it is time,
Then like sand, it will slip through my fingers and I will be forced into waiting again. There are things I’ve yet to do before I will be ready for my destiny. I await it, though, with bated breath.
So many people cross my path every day in one capacity or another
Some familiar faces and others strangers, but the contact is there, even if only for one moment. A word of encouragement or a nod and smile is so simple and yet … Did I do it, I’m not sure, but still, I am accountable for what I have or haven’t done because that is what moves inside me.
An opportunity for all I hope for presents out of nowhere, as if from the air
And words escape me as my mind races forward, struggling
Trying to grasp the answer that I know is there before me and then He moves
They are His words, not mine, that I want to convey for mine are empty and weak on their own and this, after all, is what He had planned for me.
What I do, be it helpful or hurtful will continue to move forward
Touching others who had no idea one person could bring such joy or sorrow
I underestimate God’s reach because I underestimate my own, which has nothing to do with anything and everything to do with where I want to go which is where He wants me to go. It’s a choice, it always has been and always will be.
He knows what He’s doing although I often question Him
I suppose the humanness of myself cannot simply take a gift as a gift but must question it and examine it to see if it can be trusted, not having faith enough to just take it for what it is. But at the end of the day when I give thanks for my blessings I remember to thank Him for the day, irregardless of what it brought, because it was for His glory, after all.
The journey I am on changes daily
As I surrender all I am to my King
But the journey doesn’t end when I close my eyes to sleep
The difference that I’ve made in His name, be it good or bad, encouraging, discouraging or indifferent keeps rolling on …
Romans 12:1 (my favorite chapter) … I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
~ read this verse, search your heart and soul … if you are satisfied, then carry on … if you are left wanting, seek Him … He’ll light the darkness… I read it often and each time, i’m either closer or further from Him … we are not perfect and Jesus, irrelevant of His perfectness, understands that. God bless and keep you all … not everyone believes, but there is no harm in praying … no harm at all …
Oh Lord Jesus, I pray that someone, somewhere for reasons that only You know has been uplifted by You through me this day … Though there is much I would like to have, there is nothing I can ask for that would bless me more abundantly. Amen.
Posted in believer, blog, christian, Encouragement, faith, God, Jesus, Life, Photography, spiritual healing, Time, worship
Tagged beauty, blog, encouragement, faith, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, Gina Minton Kearns Photography, God, jesus, life, love, nature, photography, Scott County Virginia, Southwest Virginia, spiritual encouragement, Through the Eyes of the Spirit, worship
Idols. I think it is safe to say that, when talking about idols in the Biblical sense, the image pops into our minds of statues or other man-made things that we choose to worship. But in the grand scheme of things, those types of idols are only a small part of what is placed before God. Now, Webster’s dictionary defines an idol as a representation or symbol of an object of worship: a false god – so if it is a representation or symbol, it can be many things. Money, worry, job, children, anger, food, alcohol, sex and a myriad of other things could be considered an idol. I have, as likely many followers of Christ can say as well, had idols in my life. I have spent many nights thinking about how I was going to pay my bills instead of giving the problem to God, letting Him handle it, and then praising Him for it. I have sacrificed many a blessing because I was too busy chasing after something that ultimately could not bring me peace or joy that lasted more than a few minutes, or at best, a few days. The valley is a place that I am more familiar with than I would like to be. The mountain is where I prefer to find myself, but without the valleys, how could I possibly know that there was a mountain to be on in the first place. I’ve spent a good part of my life searching for something and then grasping onto the first thing that made me feel whole, only to learn that the wholeness was only temporary and that the weight of my burdens soon overpowered me again and I would find myself right back where I started. God doesn’t share. He won’t give blessings to us when we are giving our praise and adoration to something else. It took me a long time to come to the realization that there is only one thing I truly need to be at peace with myself, with my life and with the world around me, but once I realized it, it was so simple that I could scarcely believe that I had been looking everywhere for what was in my heart to begin with. When I asked Jesus to save me, He did and the Holy Spirit took His place in my heart and soul, but, and isn’t it a shame that there always has to be a but … but when I put the stress and failures of my life on a pedestal, then I hinder any blessing that could have been mine. This whole post came about because I was reading in 1 John, chapter 5 this morning. The chapter is about love and faith, confidence in God when praying for things that are in His will and the knowledge that He will provide them for us. But the very last verse says Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen. There can be no confidence in God when He is not the center of our lives, if He is not the object of our worship and if He is only an afterthought, so little children, keep yourselves from idols, amen.
1 John 5:14-15: 14 And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us, 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of Him
Posted in believer, blog, christian, faith, follower of Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, idol, Jesus, Life, worship
Tagged bible study, bible verses, blog, faith, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, God, idols, jesus, life, love, worship
Myself. One of the first words we learn as kiddos and one of the most damaging ones we can use as an adult. I can do it myself. I don’t need any help. I have everything under control. I am the master of my universe. I can handle it. All of these phrases have passed through my mind and many of them through my lips. And it is such a lie. A deceitful, self-defeating lie that is harmful to me on so many levels. I, on my own, am like one of the chickens my grandparents used to raise. There was a wire fence that was open on both ends, but the chickens would get behind it and walk back and forth all day and never realize they could go around. The world, even my tiny, limited part of it, sometimes threatens to overwhelm me, forcing me to try to find someway out besides the door. But, I can handle it.
I had dinner this week with one of my oldest and dearest friends. We’ve known each other since we were in second grade. I only see her a few times a year, but that doesen’t matter. I know she is there. At least I do now. We only recently reconnected after having lost touch for many years. That is the way with all of my old friends. There are people that I think of nearly every day, but somewhere along the way, I decided that I didn’t need anybody. So without meaning to, I lost touch with wonderful friends that I would loved to have known as an adult. The blames lies with myself and the lie I decided to believe … the one that told me I could handle it.
As I get older and the Holy Spirit continues to guide and teach me, I see things more clearly. I see that myself is not who she used to be. That myself died when I gave my life to Jesus. All these years that I have continued to believe the lie that I can do it myself and don’t need anyone has been my own doing. Jesus took that along with all the other baggage when I gave myself to Him. I didn’t have to carry it, but as long as I was determined to, He was going to let me. When I look past what I let myself believe to what is actually real, I see myself as who I am now, not who I was then. I find that I can be myself instead of making myself into someone that myself thought I wanted to be. I am who God wants me to be. There is power in that.
Posted in blog, faith, God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Life
Tagged be myself, blog, faith, friends, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, God, jesus, life, myself, spiritual encouragement
Time heals all wounds. How many times I have said that. Then, after my husband Jim’s death, how many times I heard it. The first time I heard it, I was immediately sorry for every time that phrase had passed through my lips. I vowed to never say it again and I haven’t. Instead, I tell the truth as I have found it to be. I tell people who have recently lost a very significant person in their lives to death that the first year is the hardest 365 days they will ever face and the second year, especially in the beginning, won’t be much better. It is a path strewn with obstacles, fear, grief, anger, betrayal, loss and a brokenness that feels like it will never end. As soon as one “first anniversary without” passes, another one is on it’s heels. And if no anniversary is imminent, there are the songs, movies, people
and places that bring the loss so close it threatens to suffocate me. Alone, I am no challenge to such deep pain. I, on my own, would have folded the first week, tucked my tail between my legs and given up. But I wasn’t alone. He who knows all about me, including the horrifying loneliness and gut-wrenching emptiness, was with me. When I was unable to hold my head up, He held it for me. When I went days without sleeping or eating, He knew. When I broke down and sobbed because I had no place for the hurt to go, He stroked my hair. When I found no joy in photography, He showed me something incredible. He made me realize that I was not, nor had I ever been, alone. He showed me that I, though lost without Jim, had to heal before I could carry on for His glory. Healing is still a work in progress. It has been nearly two years, and while my thoughts are no longer consumed by Jim, I think of him several times a day. There is nothing wrong with that. At first, I felt guilt that my mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of him and cried about that nearly every day. I had no peace. That stunted my healing significantly. But, always faithful, God led me past that guilt into a place that let me find pieces of myself that I had hidden away during the months when I refused to feel joy. How, I asked myself many times, could I laugh and be joyful when the man I had given my heart to was dead. The real truth was revealed. Without my Heavenly Father, there would have been no joy to start with. With Him, I could feel joy and sorrow, loss and laughter, grief and happiness, all at the same time and it was ok. He showed me where peace was and, low and behold, it was right where I had left it… in His love. Healing really did begin after that realization but it wasn’t time that healed me, it was Jesus. So the truth is this: Time doesn’t heal anything … It only gives faith and grace the time to work as healing comes with reliance on the Lord. Whether the healing time is a few weeks or a few years, if God is given control, healing will, without doubt or reservations, come, and time will continue to pass because that’s what it does.
Posted in believer, blog, death of a loved one, faith, Life, Photography, Sorrow and loss, spiritual healing, Time, worship
Tagged faith, God, grace, jesus, life, loss, loss of husband, loss of loved one, moving forward, photography, sorrow, spiritual encouragement, spiritual healing, time, time heals all wounds, worship
Matthew 11:28 ~ Come to me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest
Double rainbow over Clinch Mountain, Big Moccasin, Nickelsville, VA
Posted in faith, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Life, Photography
Tagged dark, faith, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, God, jesus, love, overcoming the world, pain, past, satan
On this day, Good Friday, I woke up, feeling both ashamed and humbled, loved and cherished, thankful and remorseful, hungry and fed, and far more blessed than I deserve. Why would anyone do what Jesus did, suffer the way He suffered and die a death so horrible that my mind cannot wrap around it. That question can be answered in one word. Love. My love for Christ has nothing to do with religion or gatherings or congregations. It has no beginnings in tradition or repetition. It comes because Christ first loved me. Enough to die a terrifying and horrific death for my sake even though I was a full blown sinner. There was nothing religious about the death of Jesus. It was prophesied from way before that a Savior would come. The lamb to the slaughter. It was a gift from God, who loves at a depth that no man’s heart can understand, even if they know and follow Him. Religion has taken on a life of it’s own that, in some cases, has little or nothing to do with the teachings of Christ. There is ritual to complete and rules that must be followed in order to be a part of it. There are repetitive gestures and misinterpretations of what Jesus has said. Groups like KKK call themselves religious. Groups who bomb abortion clinics call themselves religious. Men, women and children who strap bombs to themselves and blow up others call themselves religious. Churches who talk about what great things they’ve done and then turn away those who come to them seeking help call themselves religious. Jesus wasn’t religious. He was just Jesus. The Savior, the Messiah, the Holy son of God. He didn’t conform to the traditions of the world, but set the example for others to follow so that eternal life could be available to everyone. Everyone. Not just this church or that sect or this mission or that cause, but everyone. He gave His life and shed His blood for sinners. Just going to church or to communion, taking mission trips or giving money does not open the doors of heaven for us to walk through. There is only one way. He is the way. He is the truth. He is the life. Without Him, there is no hope of eternal life. But saying that I know Jesus is not enough. Proving it is required. If we walk a good life, give to the poor, help the needy, and show the world how religious we are, we have accomplished nothing if, at the core, there is no love. Love doesn’t cross the street to avoid a homeless man, a prostitute or a drug addict. It doesn’t turn it’s back on those in need and it doesn’t just surface on Sunday. When Jesus communed with the people, He did it in the midst of sinners. He walked among those who had no hope, who had nothing. And He loved them. None of us are good. Not even when we are being good are we good. Sin is the blackness of evil that follows every step we take, just waiting for the moment when it can trip us and cause us to fall flat on our face. No matter how devout we claim to be, falling on our face is part of the journey that we are on because unlike Jesus, we are not perfect. The church can’t save us. The community can’t save us. Our family and friends, though supportive and loving, cannot save us, and most certainly, we cannot save ourselves. No matter where we go or what we try to accomplish, if Jesus is not at the center, then any good that could be done will fall short of what we could do if Jesus was at the center. There is only one way to be saved and that is through the blood of Jesus Christ. I am a follower of Christ and owe everything I am or ever hope to be to Him… and to Him, not religion, I give all the glory. For religion, after all, is just a man-made word and I have my hope in that which man has no hand in. The grave could not hold Him, Satan could not bind Him and He rose, conquering sin and making a way for all people to live in Glory with Him. He lives and He’s coming for us. What Jesus did, He did out of love and religion had nothing to with it. Praise His Holy Name!
Colossians 2:8 ~ Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Posted in believer, blog, faith, follower of Jesus, Holy Spirit, Jesus
Tagged christ's teaching, gina minton kearns, holy spirit, jesus, jesus christ, jesus follower, love, religion, spiritual teaching, teachings, worship
A Photographer's Heart 