i slept twelve hours. Straight. I find it hard to remember the last time I had that much sleep, although I do believe I remember a posting at one point about sleeping seven hours. It was an accomplishment worth regaling, as I recall. The last memory I have prior to passing out last night was thinking about the past week. I recall thinking that, after the last week of energy; constant adrenaline punches even when nothing was going on, that I was going to have to recharge in order to live through it if it continued. The constant stimulation of fight or flight that comes with the territory had me exhausted; mentally and physically. That was what I was thinking about when I finally laid down for the night. It was what was going through my mind as my head hit the pillow and I hoped that I could fall asleep.
Considering that I recall nothing else is a pretty sure bet that I dropped like a rock. That’s how it happens. Funnily enough, our bodies understand what our mind is saying to it and, whether we do or not, listens. It compounds that we are beautifully and wonderfully made.
My Christmas tree is still up and the sink is full of dishes. There are clothes to wash and floors to mop. Yes. I have been away a long time if the chaos in my house is any indication.
It is unfair to say that everyone who reads this will be able to relate to it. That is not true so there is no point in saying it. Some will, though. The writers, photographers, painters, musicians, artists, dreamers; they will understand the crash. Crash is such a violent word. I choose to use collapse. One of Merriam-Webster’s definitions is to break down in vital energy, stamina, or self-control through exhaustion or disease. That pretty much sums it up. During those lost hours, I am vulnerable. That bothers me but I live with it.
I’m well on my way, now though, to somewhere another, and I won’t know where it is until I get there. Until then, I will try to enjoy the ride and share the experiences so that someone else; someone who may be struggling, can enjoy the ride, as well. These words, I write for myself, but it is always with the hope someone will find encouragement where, just before, there wasn’t any.
Psalms 139:14 ~I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
A Photographer's Heart 