Tag Archives: parrothead

you just might be a fruitcake…

Ok… now I am beginning to become somewhat concerned… I wasn’t concerned when I listened to Jimmy Buffet over and over day and night for the past two weeks, at home, in the car and at work… I wasn’t really aware that I shouted out lyrics to his songs out of the blue at the oddest of times and already know nearly every word to my favorites (although, if I had been aware, I would have begun to realize that something was up)  Not really worried when I realized that I actually paid money for skull and crossbones tablecloths on a post-halloween sale to use in a “pirate motif” at my birthday dinner… didn’t flinch when I bought the “ghost pirate” at the same post-halloween sale… never occurred to me that there was a time in my life when I had not been a Parrothead and really was bummed that I was an over 40 victim of fate…  never mind my new love of boat drinks…  i’ve put myself in time-out twice for saying hell and damn… two words I never used to say… at least not out loud… It doesn’t bother me that I think, seriously, about flying down south for a few days this winter… not just south, but SOUTH… Now although everything so far has pointed towards obsessive behavior and maybe even a little, um, for lack of a better word, weird, even for me… it feels natural, like a second skin so… I didn’t realize how absorbed I had become by the “island life” and that I actually considered myself an islander… at least not until an encounter at Kroger the other night that made me realize that I might need to run to the nearest Margaritaville and have a cheeseburger in paradise until the whole fruitcake moment has passed… I was standing in front of the febreeze and glade scents… I love those new febreeze pop-up things, whatever they are, and was smelling them… they have a scatch and sniff doohickey on the front… that said, there was this man coming in my direction and he says to me “which one smells the best”… I held the one in my hand up, hawaiian some such or another, and said “this one”… so he goes and picks up one and says to me, “so what does hawaiian stuff smell like”… and I said.. and this is what made me realize that I have earned my Parrothead badge… I said “it smells like one particular harbor”…  now is that messed up or what… i need help and i need it in a hurry…  for what it’s worth, tho, he put the febreeze in his cart…
I LIKE MINE WITH LETTUCE AND TOMATOES, HEINZ 57 AND FRANCH FRIED POTATOES….
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breathe in, breathe out, move on

Sometimes, at the oddest times, the oddest things happen… and sometimes, this collision of oddness creates a clarity that puts everything in perspective…  Now, just to be honest, I have never considered myself a fan of Jimmy Buffett and certainly not a Parrothead, a Pirate or a rum-drinking beach bum…  But recently, an event happened that jump-started a cataclysmic chain of events…  It was Halloween…. or close to it, anyway, when  Missy gave me a cd… her favorite jimmy buffett songs… not necessarily, as missy said, his most popular, but the ones she liked best.  I took it to the house and when I went to work on Monday, I popped it into the cd player in my car… OMStars!!!  I was instantly, irrevocably and irretrievably mesmerized… Everything I knew about Jimmy Buffett was wrapped up in Margaritaville… I had labeled him immediately as “not my thing”… and years passed.  Then, a few days ago, while listening to the cd in the car, I heard the lyrics that changed everything… “according to my watch, the time is now… the past is dead and gone… don’t try to shake it, just nod your head… breathe in, breathe out and move on”.  Now I’ve had little epiphanies before, little ones that make me say “oooh”… but this was different…  I was, of all places in the shower… Those lyrics came to mind and I looked over the past year, in which I have had to learn to live without Jim… an entire year of “wish jim could see…, as jim used to say…., on this day, jim always…”  An entire year learning to live day by day without the man I thought I couldn’t live without, but was given no choice but to do what I had deemed undoable…. then the words popped into my head “according to my watch the time is now”… and with them, the answer to the question that I didn’t remember asking… that first year, i did learn to live without jim… it wasn’t easy… as a matter of fact, it was the second most difficult thing i have ever faced… but I learned…  and now, “the past is dead and gone”… and there is no changing that… period.  “Don’t try to shake it, just nod your head”… how could you shake it even if you wanted to… life, death, happiness, sorrow, joy, pain… it’s all tied together in life… it doesn’t matter who you are, you know it… and this is where the fork in the road appears…  two choices…take the low road… wallow in what was, but will never be again… stagnate in a pool of self pity and righteous grief… or the high road where you  “breathe in, breathe out and move on”… I choose the high rode.  I spent the last year learning to live without him… Now I will live without him, for to do otherwise is to say that the life God gave me to live isn’t worth living if I have to do it alone… I will take with me the little pieces of jim that i loved so much… but at the end of the day, when the quiet settles and the dark gathers, there is no one here but me… So, with memories that I wouldn’t trade for another day of life, strength born of dragging a burden that was nearly too heavy to bear, courage born of renewed faith and a knowledge that God is who He says He is and does what He says He will do…I’m going to live and  not take a single moment of this precious life for granted…  and if God is willing to send me… I am willing to go… I want to meet His people and look at them through the eyes of the spirit… I want to look at creation… to see it all… I am praying that God will continue to take me down the path of photography until I get where He wants me to be… That I will know what to do when I get there and that every aspect of my life will glorify Jesus… and in the meantime, I will serve Him, I will worship Him and  I’ll breathe in, breathe out and move on…

Yes, I am a pirate… 200 years too late…