it is important to understand what a real cat does.
Real cats chase mice, keep spiders away, keep all rodents from invading the home front and bask in the sun when they have the chance.
They climb trees, chase butterflies and practice pouncing on anything that looks pouncable. (disclaimer: pouncable is not a real word, but worked in this post so I made it up and used it).
It is also good to know the difference between inside and outdoor cats, real ones, not the imposters.
When dealing with imposter cats, cat rules and regulations apparently do not apply.
I have learned this the hard way.
Inside cats shed their downy fur onto everything … furniture, inside the refrigerator, the sink, underwear drawer and everywhere else that isn’t covered in plastic and securely duct-taped.
Outside cats are different, but not in a big way.
Real outside cats rub on the porch, scratch the railing making it look mauled and walk up and down across both the front and back window of your car leaving muddy paw-prints as evidence.
And they don’t care that they leave evidence because they are cats and cats are immune to human fallacies.
They will urinate on your vegetation and cause it to either stop growing or grow into something that isn’t of this world. It is quite the phenomenon … the results of cat urine.
They will become accustomed to being fed at certain times and if not accommodated, will scratch at the door like dogs. (don’t tell them they act like dogs though or you could easily lose an eye).
They will chase other cats away if any should show up at your door by hissing and chasing, thus making them look like real cats who do cat things like chase mice.
When you see the first sign of mouse droppings inside your house, you will know that your outside cats are not on the job. For further proof, watch the food bowl.
Imposter cats will sit and watch birds eat their food.
Cats watching birds as they eat the food they scratched on the door for.
What Brigadoon have I fallen into where this kind of thing happens?
I didn’t ask for these cats, they just appeared.
I don’t have the heart to see them hungry, so I fed them.
Now I have a horde of furry creatures that look like cats but don’t chase mice, let birds eat their food and put their paw-prints all over my car.
Imposters, one and all.
I would call the dogs, but the cats are laying against them to keep warm.
What, I ask, is the world coming to?.