to make me feel more like myself; more human and more natural. I have worn my hair short since fifth grade and really short for the past twenty years. There is something about the “peach fuzz” feel at the back of my head that makes me feel real.
If I have to entertain the thought of purchasing a blow dryer, then it is evident that my hair is entirely too long. I wear it shorter than many men I know and am perfectly happy with it that way.
I have heard it said that it takes a great deal of confidence, which, oddly, I don’t possess, to wear one’s hair this short. It leaves my face, a rather unremarkable feature, out there for the world to see.
Maybe it is sheer laziness on my part to keep my hair this short. It is easier to deal with on a day to day basis, especially when I find myself on a particularly arduous trail shoot, crawling through brambles and making my way through muddy trenches. It suits me and that seems to be all that matters.
Oddly enough, though I am not looking for any kind of relationship, it is the women who most often slip me their numbers. It doesn’t matter to them that I am not gay, they do it anyway, laughingly saying that maybe one day, I will change my mind.
It matters not to me what people think, at least for the most part. It wasn’t always that way, but it seems, as I get older, others’ perceptions of me means less and less.
I am who I was meant to be and am still working on who I am yet to become. Having boyishly short hair has little bearing on that.
When a new day dawns, if the length of my hair, the style of my clothes or the fact that what I wear matches has more bearing on who I am on the inside, then it will be most evident that I, as a human being, have failed.
What I look like, the clothes I wear, the hairstyle I sport and the car I drive do not make up who I am. That person lives inside me and manifests itself with the way I interact with others. If I am judgmental, then I will be judged. It is that simple.
I try not to be judgmental because judgement sends me two steps back when I have worked so hard to move two steps forward.
I want people to know who I am based on what I can bring into their lives, not by what they can see. Sight is only a small part of what makes up our world.
If what you see is all you see, then you have missed the point and I have failed to make myself heard. It is a fail, either way.
We are all on a journey to somewhere and if all we have to offer is our appearance, then I suppose my journey ends here. What we have to offer each other comes from within, not without. It is born of compassion, empathy and love for one another. Without that connection, that bond, what we look like on the outside is irrelevant.
Our outward appearance, when all the fences are down, has nothing, really, to do with anything if we are unable to connect to the people around us. We are essentially, without empathy and compassion, no better than robots.
I love technology and gadgetry, but I have no desire to be a robot, short hair or not.
A Photographer's Heart 