I’ve felt like singing most of the time. I have to admit, while I really like the way I feel, I am perplexed by it. I can’t say, for certain, that I have ever felt as I do now. Happy, but in a normal way. Exuberant, but in a normal way. I have the ability to keep a thought in my head and to make sense when I’m talking; even if it is only to myself.
I find myself smiling for no particular reason and being excited over simple things; like coming home at the end of a long day. I find that irritations come less frequently and the ability to reason and converse like a human being is functioning properly. It feels pretty good, actually. The joyous feeling of contentment that I didn’t have to work for; a quietness within myself that I didn’t expect.
I prayed for a peace in my mind. It is so difficult sometimes, to focus on the most basic of tasks, but complex and comprehensive ones come easy. I don’t feel that way tonight. In a way, I feel like I am seeing my life, with few responsibilities and much freedom, for the first time. I don’t know how long this feeling will last or if it will ever come again … but I am hopeful.
There has been a change of some kind, though at the moment, I can’t put my finger on it. Something uprooted? Something planted? I don’t know. What I do know is that I am not the same as I was a few days ago; I am less fearful and that in itself makes me stronger than I was before. I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, I prayed for it. I thank God for His faithfulness.
Posted in bipolar, blessings, blog, contentment, dreams, emotions, God, happiness, happy, Life, life experiences, Pentaxian, photographer, Photography, Southwest Virginia, Time, VA, words
Tagged beautiful, blog, contentment, courage, emotion, emotions, encouragement, excitement, faith, fear, feelings, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, Gina Minton Kearns Photography, God, greeting cards, happiness, happy, Scott County Virginia, Southwest Virginia, strength, words, worship
that you have reached the point of emotional overload. A few days ago, I posted about the power of music and how indescribable it is. What I didn’t know at the time of that post is just how truly indescribable music is. I have spent the last three days, every free, waking moment, listening to something I have never know before. Pure and indiscriminate genius. I have moments, and while to some, this will sound strange and to others, yet, it will make perfect sense, that I am not certain my brain and heart won’t explode; that the music will burst the seams and they will shatter like fine porcelain. Shatter into a million pieces, each one alive and vibrant, overwhelming and overstimulating; this is the price we pay for what we feel.
All of the things I feel are not welcome thoughts or emotions, rather they remind me of something just out of my reach; something forbidden and yet wonderful. A world of possibilities and endless scenarios … of looking inside oneself at things that frighten or intimidate us and seeing them reflected in the music we hear. I talk about “we” because it is easier to admit to something when you know there are others who understand the feelings you cannot find the words to say.
I don’t know where this musical journey will lead, but so far, I am completely exhausted and drained just from the experience. I can only imagine what I will learn the second time around, knowing what to expect and anticipating it’s arrival. I may die before it’s over, but to my friends and readers I say; it was a good death.
Posted in blog, dreams, emotions, Life, music, Photography, Time
Tagged beautiful, beauty, blog, emotion, emotions, gina minton kearns, gina minton kearns blog, Gina Minton Kearns Photography, life, music, photographer, photography