I’ve felt like singing most of the time. I have to admit, while I really like the way I feel, I am perplexed by it. I can’t say, for certain, that I have ever felt as I do now. Happy, but in a normal way. Exuberant, but in a normal way. I have the ability to keep a thought in my head and to make sense when I’m talking; even if it is only to myself.
I find myself smiling for no particular reason and being excited over simple things; like coming home at the end of a long day. I find that irritations come less frequently and the ability to reason and converse like a human being is functioning properly. It feels pretty good, actually. The joyous feeling of contentment that I didn’t have to work for; a quietness within myself that I didn’t expect.
I prayed for a peace in my mind. It is so difficult sometimes, to focus on the most basic of tasks, but complex and comprehensive ones come easy. I don’t feel that way tonight. In a way, I feel like I am seeing my life, with few responsibilities and much freedom, for the first time. I don’t know how long this feeling will last or if it will ever come again … but I am hopeful.
There has been a change of some kind, though at the moment, I can’t put my finger on it. Something uprooted? Something planted? I don’t know. What I do know is that I am not the same as I was a few days ago; I am less fearful and that in itself makes me stronger than I was before. I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, I prayed for it. I thank God for His faithfulness.